How to Recover from Burnout and Start Living a Life You Love
Trying to figure out how to recover from burnout when your brain is in a fog and you don’t even have the energy to make a bowl of cereal…is overwhelming. But if that’s you, I think this post can help.
In this post, I will cover how researchers have helped other people recover from burnout. I’m including strategies from scientific research on burnout, and sharing some things I learned on my recovery journey.
The research on recovery from burnout has shown that you need to restore a balance between stress and rest, support yourself in recovering from chronic stress, and develop healthy coping skills.
This is not a one-size-fits-all approach, and you should feel free to take what serves you – but I think the most important thing to recognize is that recovery from burnout does require you to take consistent action in order to feel better. The research does show that the majority of people experiencing burnout are able to significantly improve – if they actively seek to recover.
I really want to drive this point home, because for the longest time I just kept hoping that I would wake up one day and magically feel better. Or I’d be silently berating myself saying, “If only I could just toughen up, this wouldn’t be a problem anymore!”
But the reality of burnout is that once you’ve reached a place where it’s noticeable, you’re gonna have to do the work in order to feel better.
Bear in mind that the way humans live in the 21st century is frankly very unnatural compared to our “natural environment”. There’s nothing wrong with you as a human. You’re not a failure. You’re not weak. You’re just experiencing the very real effects of drawn-out, unceasing chronic stress.
In this post, I will cover how researchers have helped other people recover from burnout. I’m including strategies from scientific research on burnout, and sharing some things I learned on my recovery journey.
It’s possible to feel better. You can do this. Keep reading to learn what you can do below.
Burnout Recovery Stage 1 – Create the Opportunity to Recover
The researchers describe this as your crisis stage. This is where you’ve fully realized that you are struggling and that you need to make a change in order to feel better. For some people, it’s a straw that broke the camel’s back scenario, and for others, it’s just the point where you’re ready to draw a hard line.
If you’re like me and have poor coping skills and are also not tuned in to your own feelings, it can take you a while to get here. You’ve probably had some alarm bells going off for a while now, but you’ve been ignoring them for one reason or another. Maybe because you feel ashamed of being “weak” (you’re not) or because you’ve been telling yourself it will get better eventually and just kept pressing forward (it won’t).
For me, I just reached a point where I realized that I didn’t want to feel awful forever. I noticed how I had changed, and realized the loss of that bright, shiny person I had been. I also noticed that my brain wasn’t working as well as it once had – and that was the thing that finally pushed me to draw a hard line.
I ended up leaving my job with the hopes that I would feel better – but after I left, I ended up wallowing because I didn’t have a clear plan or the energy to even complete a plan on my own. (I am the kind of person who benefits from external support, which is why I started my coaching business in the first place – to help other women like me.)
Here’s what you need in Stage 1 of your burnout recovery:
Recognize that it took you a long time to get to this point. It will also take a while for you to feel better. There are no quick fixes to recover from burnout. (But it is possible.)
Create the opportunity for yourself to actually recover. This can look like taking sick leave from work, taking a break from working, taking a real vacation, or delegating/off-loading responsibilities.
How long does it take to recover from burnout?
Like I said above, you didn’t reach the point of burning out overnight and you can’t recover overnight either.
And that’s ok – as we all know, instant solutions are generally not long-lasting solutions. Our whole goal here is to get you feeling better, and also prevent you from ever reaching this point again.
There’s no exact timeline for a person being “officially recovered”. Like I’ve described in previous posts, you probably ended up burnt out because of how your mind works: how you cope and how hard you think you need to push yourself.
Working through those aspects takes internal work, often through cognitive behavioral therapy. This “relearning” how to approach work and life, how to cope, and how hard (or if) you need to push yourself takes a deeper evaluation of the life experiences that have shaped your thoughts. It goes without saying that this could take longer for some people than others.
How can you create the opportunity to recover from burnout?
This is probably the most crucial aspect of feeling better. If you skip this step, you may never recover from your chronic stress.
If the source of your chronic stress is your work, you have a few options: taking some extended sick leave, seeking to use family medical leave, using some extended vacation time, or taking administrative leave. It is also valuable to find ways to cut down on your responsibilities at work or seek support in other ways. This obviously depends on your unique situation.
You can also consider leaving your job and taking a little break from working. This depends on your financial situation and your career goals, and should obviously be a step you take with proper caution and planning. (Bear in mind that stressing about money when you’re unemployed will just add to your chronic stress and derail your attempts to feel better.)
However, be aware that simply leaving your job will not solve your exhaustion and other chronic fatigue symptoms overnight. Next, given that you’re already struggling in your current work, consider how you will cope when at a new job with the stress of adapting to a new workplace. (If you’ve noticed that your brain isn’t working as well as it used to – like I did – consider how this will affect your ability to perform at a new job.)
This isn’t me telling you that you’re not allowed to leave your job. I did because I felt exhausted and stuck and like I could never get better if I stayed at my job. But I also left because I wanted to pursue a new path by starting my own business. It may or may not have been the right choice and it was definitely a hard decision to make. Sometimes I feel that if I had only had the proper plan and support, I probably could still be at my old job. But other factors, such as pay and culture, tilted the scales in favor of trying something new.
Only you can decide what option is best for you.
If the source of chronic stress is at home, there are a few options here as well. If you are caring for a family member, you can seek support from other family members or hire help.
There are many options for getting yourself this break – take the time to consider them and see what you can come up with. It’s important to not immediately write this step off because it really is very important to the recovery process.
Give yourself the space to consider all possible solutions.
Burnout Recovery Stage 2 - Restore a Normal Stress Baseline
Once you’ve secured your ability to take a real break from the source of your stress, you’re ready to move on to Stage 2.
The whole point of Stage 2 is allowing your body to settle back into a normal stress baseline.
If you recall from this post, in Burnout Phase 2, your body adapts to a new level of stress and sets you up for experiencing the symptoms of chronic stress. Basically, your hormonal stress system gets stuck switched “on”. You experience the effects of this as restlessness or hyperactivity, before experiencing the cascading full-body suite of chronic stress symptoms in Burnout Phase 3.
In order for you to feel better, your body needs to be able to switch that stress system to “off” and relax back into a normal baseline. You do this by teaching yourself to recognize your stress response, and easing off once you’ve triggered it.
Here’s what you need in Stage 2 of your burnout recovery:
Nutrient-dense diet + avoiding alcohol and added sugar
Develop a healthy sleep routine
Get exercise that feels good to you (no need to over-exert yourself, but exercise does wonders for managing stress)
Tuning in to stress and fatigue signals
Stop postponing need gratification (i.e. actually feed yourself when it’s mealtime, actually go pee when you need to pee instead of delaying, and give yourself a break when you need a break)
Use meditation, mindfulness exercises, and vagus nerve relaxation techniques
Gradual, gentle return to work when you’re ready
In combination with all of the above, you’ll gently strengthen your ability to stress and relax your system. (Explained below.)
How to Rebuild Your Capacity for Work After Burnout
Recovering from burnout is more than just de-stressing. It’s also about rebuilding your ability to experience stress, kind of like strengthening a muscle. The method described below is used by the researchers studying burnout.
To do this, you will alternate stress activity with rest/relaxing activity.
Start with non-work activities that only cause you a small amount of stress, and only do these for a short period – then rest. As you do this, pay attention to when that stress is building. Then you can learn when to back off. (And yes, you are allowed to back off! The purpose of this is to unlearn your habit of ignoring your body and mind’s requests for a break.)
As you learn to recognize your level of stress, you will also learn to recognize when you are ready for more. Your goal is to feel recovered within two hours from whatever gentle stress activity you’ve chosen. Then you can start to increase the duration of/stress level of your stressful activity – always making sure you’re feeling recovered within those two hours.
This method really reminds me of progressive overload for weight-lifting. You lift at near max capacity, then rest and recover, then lift at your new (higher) max capacity. Until you look like Terry Crews.
However, please be aware to progressively improve your capacity for stress in a very gentle way. After dealing with such intense levels of chronic stress, it’s almost like your body and mind have become brittle. You’re not pushing yourself to the limit here – instead, gently increase your capacity.
Before I knew that this was what I should be doing – I kind of ended up doing it naturally. I’d be working on my business from home, and then after a few hours, I’d feel pretty wiped out. So I’d take my lunch break and relax with some Netflix. And then get back to it after a couple of hours.
But the problem was that I felt so guilty while I was relaxing, that it was like fake relaxing. If you’re anything like me, you may carry around near-constant guilt. Which is…stressful. The whole idea here is to release stress – so I hope that knowing that you are allowed to (and should) give yourself breaks will help you feel better, faster.
What Scientists Say Not to Do While You’re Recovering from Burnout
Now that you have an overview of what you should be doing to feel better – here’s what the research says you should avoid during Stage 2:
Psychotherapy
Couples therapy or family therapy
Here’s why. First, if you’re deep into the burnout phases and have hit phase 4 – you’re likely displaying some behaviors that are similar to some kinds of personality disorders. (Read more about the burnout phases in this post.) If you start psychotherapy at this point, you could end up being diagnosed or “labeled” with some things that will evaporate once you are able to recover.
Second, psychotherapy is amazing and important and can help you live your life to the fullest – but it is also inherently a stressful process. Psychotherapy is a place to delve into past trauma and examine the “dark” parts of your life that echo in your present. But, as you can imagine or know already, delving into past trauma is a stressful process.
Finally, if you’re deep into the burnout phases it’s likely that you’ve been experiencing some strife in your relationships. When we are not healthy, happy, and whole it is very difficult to show up as our best selves. This often affects our relationships, so you might be feeling the need to go to couples or family therapy – but like psychotherapy this is also an inherently stressful process.
This is why the researchers suggest that a person avoid going to therapy until they’re towards the end of recovery stage 2.
My thoughts on this: I think that if you are currently in therapy, you should continue if you want to. And if you feel called to start therapy during your recovery process, by all means, go for it. You know what you need, and you should do what you feel is best. I also think that you can communicate all of this information to your therapist and you can work together with an understanding of your current level of burnout.
I personally find therapy to be a stress reliever because most of my stress comes from my “internal experience”. I’ve got a lot of negative messaging floating around in my head and it helps me to clear those things out.
Burnout Recovery Stage 3 - Preventing Future Burnout
Once you’ve reached stage 3 of your burnout recovery process, it’s time to take a look at how you got here in the first place. This is where you will examine what got you burnt out and learn new and healthier ways of coping.
Research shows that 50% of people who returned to work after burnout ended up burning out again within about 2.5 years. But don’t let this get you down – you are completely capable of learning healthy coping mechanisms and avoiding future burnout.
The science has identified three main factors that make you more likely to burn out:
Your circumstances
Your coping mechanisms
Dysfunctional thought patterns
So, your work in stage 3 of recovery revolves around solving those three things. Here’s how:
The circumstances that lead to burnout are experiencing stress with few opportunities to recover. This manifests as chronic stress and, if it goes on for long enough, turns into burnout. So, your goal is to create more opportunities for rest. This can look like developing boundaries, setting limits, and building + maintaining a support network.
Us burnout people pretty much cope with stress by ignoring it, hoping it will go away, and pushing onward even when our bodies and minds are asking for a break. Since you’ve learned how to recognize the stress building up inside during recovery stage 2 – you are ready to reimagine your life and live it in a way that balances stress with rest.
These can be big changes, like pursuing a new career (if you feel ready), or small tweaks like only doing work strictly within defined working hours. If you’ve realized that your work is fundamentally at odds with your values, a career change that allows you to do meaningful work can help avoid future burnout. If you’re the one always answering work emails when you’re on vacation in Hawaii, you can train your coworkers and boss that when you’re out of the office you are unavailable. (This really is possible, I promise.)
Finally, you can address dysfunctional thought patterns by attending cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). The best way to describe CBT is that your therapist helps you challenge unhealthy thought patterns, and rewrite new healthy thought patterns. This is a skill you can learn and use throughout your life. CBT is a specific kind of therapy, and if you want to try it, you’ll need to find a therapist who specifically uses this method.
So there you have it, this is how the researchers have helped people recover from burnout. It’s a lot of work, but this is the pathway to becoming the healthy, happy, and whole human being you envision yourself being.
Your Next Step
Figuring out how to overcome burnout on your own can feel impossible. I know, I’ve been there. And I definitely wasted a bunch of time confused and unsure of what to do and too exhausted to take action. I wish that I had had someone there to help guide me on the path — and that’s why I started my coaching business. Take the first step today and sign up for your free 30-minute coaching call. Together, we can embark on a journey to create the life you’ve always dreamed of.
